all alone

Blog Image:

Music: Coldplay - Yellow
Mood:

Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And everything you do
Yeah, they were all yellow...

So its 4th of July weekend and I'm spending it alone. My family has decided to ditch me and go visit friends. I have to work tonight, so I'm staying home all alone. party anyone? no, I haven't got enough friends for a party, and I'm still feeling all wierd. I'm one of those people whos's afraid of big groups of people. I just feel like I don't belong. And then I want to stand out so I do something stupid.

I also want to get drunk one of these days. There are times when I'm really excited about it, and other times where I'm scared about what might happen. drinking to get drunk is stupid, but I feel that im missing out. that maybe getting drunk will make me fit in better. i doubt it, and now i don't really want to get drunk. the other reason was I wanted to know my limit. I've been drinking with my family before (out to dinner and I get to drink some of their drink) and I've had about 4-5 drinks in an hour after dinner and didn't feel a thing. Maybe it was a fluke? maybe it was only because I had eaten? I'm not sure, but I'm still curious about it.

Next week I'm going to my dad's house. I haven't seen the guy in what feels like forever and so I'm really excited about going. I'm gonna be there for most of the week, because I can't see him on weekends because I work.

thats all for now, more later, hasta luego hombres!