downward spiral
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Music: Death Cab For Cutie - Transatlanticism
Mood:
Mood:
I'm going down. down. down. I'm falling so fast that I can feel the wind whip past my face as I plummet. I know that sounds overly imagistic and emotional, and it really is, but I just suddenly have the urge to cry. I'm a guy, im not supposed to feel this way!
I think it has something to do with my inner pain that I am never included in anything. the fact that no one likes me enough to just invite me along. I think maybe I should invite myself, and go on my own without being asked. But thats so hard when you don't have a car/transportation. And it just makes me feel like total shit.
I feel so empty. and yet so full of sadness. I want a relationship. I think i want one, who knows what I really want. I want to want to be around someone for no other reason than that i love them. and i want that person to feel the same about me.
Everything is in flux, and nothing stays the same. I'm going to go brood and be silent and let things fall apart some more. things are going to get worse before they get better so I'm bracing for the worst. talk to you later folks.
2 Comments:
Don't worry. Give it time, be yourself, and things *will* get better. From what I've read (I hope you don't mind strangers reading your blog...I searched for people who also liked Red vs Blue and guess who came up...) you sound like a very smart, nice guy. Be strong!
By
JC, at July 3, 2004 at 1:14 AM
thanks for your support. Its good to know that there are supportive people out there who...are supportive. Someone connecting with what you've written and offering you a helping hand is one of the most uplifting feelings.
By
Nick, at July 3, 2004 at 1:53 AM
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