where are you? and where am I?

Blog Image:

Music: trying some spill canvas
Mood:

And as the summer's ending,
The cold air will rush your hard heart away
You were so condescending:
And this is all that's left.
Scraping paper to document
I've packed a change of clothes and it's time to move on.

gotta love death cab. makes me excited because the OC is coming back in november! YAY! i can hardly wait. So i've been on an anime binge the last couple days. i watched 2 whole series and half of a third. Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex, Battle Programmer Shirase, and Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex 2nd GIG. love Ghost in the Shell. can't wait for the second movie to be released in the US.

I taught myself how to add subtitles to movies this week. Its a lot of fun to do, even if it is boring and tedious, but i love seeing my work pay off. hopefully i'll be able to join a fansub group and be a timer or a typesetter. that would be cool.

next week im going away to running camp. I'll be gone, so don't bother to message me (im secretly hoping there is a cyber cafe or something nearby. maybe an arcade with DDR, that would be awesome). hopefully i'll meet some super hot chick there and have a really fun time at camp. yeah....thats the game plan folks.

the summer is ending....which means school....and homework...and no time whatsoever. its all good tho, im a senior now. nya (japanese cat noise). My plans include getting to know the jap exchange student and learning a crap-load of japanese. yeah...good plan.

ok: crucial part of blog where i tell something important. theres this girl that i was like obsessed with since.....like last february. she lived a little more than an hour away but i had met her at a track meet and then thought she was the coolest thing since sliced bread. so i talked to her for the longest time and always thought that maybe one day we could date or something, or at least hang out. we never did hang out, and i got really upset at times because i was sure that she didn't care for me at all even tho i wanted her to so much.

so the other night we were talking online (as we normally did) and we started talking about religion. she proclaimed herself a strict atheist and revealed a horribly dismal outlook on life. i was stunned. she was raised catholic but chose not to believe in God. I myself was raised without a particular religion and i have more faith in God every day. she came off as a complete cynic....very different from who i thought she was. and thats when i realised that just because we liked the same things on the surface level, and that i thought she was a great person, it didn't make us very compatible. i used to think we'd make the perfect couple, but my whole outlook suddenly changed.

i had tried to remove her from my life before so that i could stop liking her. i knew it would never work out but i wanted it to so badly, and it was hurting me. but everytime i tried i still ended up coming back. now all of a sudden i feel released. i know that i wouldn't want to date her, because there are things about her that i wouldn't be able to stand. that we are too different on a much deeper level. so now it is easy to remove her, and i have. and i feel all the better for it. nothing against her, but i just feel so good to be finally free.

have a good week everyone!